


it's time to die

by metayoz50k



Category: Beelzebub (Anime & Manga)
Genre: M/M, oga is only mentioned :V
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-02
Updated: 2015-07-02
Packaged: 2018-04-07 08:06:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4255851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/metayoz50k/pseuds/metayoz50k
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Furuichi’s latent bisexuality gets outed in the worst way possible. (The best way, several Pillar members would reassure him later.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	it's time to die

**Author's Note:**

> For the Ogafuru week on Tumblr! Theme is Day 2 - Confessions.
> 
> I do, in fact, headcanon Furuichi as bisexual.

“Okay, time’s up!”

With a sigh of relief, Furuichi flops down on the floor, careful of the relatively deep gash in his right torso. With a yelp of concern, Schethalim runs up to the prone body, waving the still-smoking pistol in his hand like a white flag.

“Oi, Furuchin, you okay?” he yells, and shakes the sliver-haired boy’s shoulders. Except he’s lying down, so his face is repeatedly getting smashed into the ground.

Furuichi tries to reply, he really does, but when he opens his mouth the disgusting and slightly tangy taste of demon world dirt gets in and it’s just really gross and not worth stopping this cruel, unusual punishment.

Agiel gets bored of the spectacle after a minute or so, and rips Schethalim’s iron grip away. “Hey, the poor thing’s getting more hurt because of you. Leave him alone.” She gives the Pillar General a crooked little smile, more than used to his antics.

As if just realizing what he had done to his ‘general’, Schethalim gives a little gasp and presses the damaged face against his chest. “I’m sorry! I’ll never do that again!” He apologizes, with a completely serious expression.

_I don’t care about your damn apologies, just let me breathe!_ Tapping into some previously unknown reserve of power, Furuichi manages to flail his hand around the general vicinity of Schethalim’s neck. (Because, Jabberwock would lecture, sometimes the enemy doesn’t have balls and you gotta know where to strike when that happens.) He hits the throat with all his might, but with not nearly enough force; Schethalim barely feels it. His brief moment of defiance is swept aside effortlessly.

…Well, at least Furuichi can sort of breathe now, since the demon’s loosened his grip a little. Even if the air smells really sweaty and gross. Even if the chest his face is pressed against is rock solid and uncomfortable. And toned. And sort of really familiar—

_No! Don’t go there, you idiot! Think straight thoughts. Like Agiel. Agiel’s lean, bountiful chest. I’m pressed against that right now. Yeah._

Somehow, he manages to get sucked into his delusions enough to manage a small, perverted smirk.

(Furuichi will look back at this moment in the future and realize that everything after it happened just because he couldn’t control his stupid libido.)

Agiel takes one look at Furuichi’s (tiny! minuscule! barely noticeable!) smile.

She pales.

Opens her mouth.

Closes it.

Opens it again.

“Holy shit Schethalim,” she chokes out, “I think Furuichi _likes_ you rubbing him all over your sweaty body.”

A pause.

Hecadothlooks up from the book he’s reading, with more emotion that he’s shown in _months_. “What?”

“No way! Not our skirt-chasing general,” he yells back, with a voice slightly off from his usual pitch. The Pillar General, very slowly, removes Furuichi’s face from his chest.

The silver-haired boy is in too much shock to react much more than to tiredly fall back on the ground.

Schethalim is at Furuichi again in an instant. “Heyhey _hey_ what’s Agiel talking about?! General, you can’t tell me you swing the other way after so long!” He has half a mind to shake his shoulders again, but remembers his heartfelt apology from earlier and refrains.

Furuichi’s brain feels almost completely severed from his body. He’d really like to explain that _no, I was thinking about Agiel’s chest_ but that would probably be really terrible for his continued existence. Also, he’s really tired. Really really tired. So tired, he doesn’t even want to think about that moment where he fantasized about Schethalim’s…

God! He was sick and tired of not being able to do shit!

“I“, his voice wavers. Furuichi takes a breath to control himself.

“As I was saying,” he continues, at a quieter noise level, “I definitely love girls. Their physique, their mannerisms, their choice in clothing, everything!” He knew he was rambling, but his mind felt completely blank and he honestly didn’t care too much about what he was saying. By now, all of the Pillar Squad members in the training area were watching him. “—Nene is strong and intelligent and her leadership skills are top notch, sure she may get angry really easily but her temper’s really cute too. And Kunieda—“

Before he can continue any further and embarrass himself even more, Agiel interrupts with a stern cough. “But,” she counters, “guy torsos turn you on.”

“They do not!” Furuichi retorts hotly.

Suddenly, Hecadoth is there, with eyes rolling. “Well, if they don’t, why do you stare at Oga’s all day?”

“What?! I-I don’t!” Furuichi stutters. His face is flush and feels like the steaming wreckage of a Zebub Blast.

“Oh yeah! There was that one time when you summoned me!” Fabas yells. She’s quite a ways from the conversation, so Furuichi can’t muster up the energy to run up to her and sock her in the gut. “You were beating some weakass chumps left and right but then you paused for a second to look at Prince Beel’s babysitter!”

“Me too, me too!” Elim says, and god _damn_ she’s a lot closer, but she looks like a little girl and the stupid pedophile rumors were finally starting to die down! “Uh, he summoned me, but he looked really disappointed and muttered something like ‘you can’t help Oga’…”

“And also.” _What the fuck, Ananta? What’s a Pillar Baron doing here?!_ “Sources say that you have constantly gone into the chest of Alaindelon.”

Furuichi shakily gets up to his feet, because mentioning his relationship with the transport demon is the last straw in _any_ of his conversations. “Don’t say crap like that, people’ll misunderstand!” He points a finger at Ananta in accusation. She shrugs.

“Well, the creepy moustache demon doesn’t matter,” Hecadoth declares, “you still stare at the Oga human a lot.”

“It’s a gag manga, what’s a gag manga without homoerotic subtext between the main character and his bro!”  A lot of the demons seem really confused by the long words, so Furuichi repeats, “We’re gay for each other because it’s funny.”

“Aha! You just admitted it! You _do_ want to bone him!” Agiel cackles.

“Wrong! The author just magnifies our actual relationship to make it look like we want to bone each other!” Furuichi replies.

“Oh?” Agiel leers, and it’s probably the scariest thing Furuichi’s ever seen in his life. “Who said anything about Oga boning _you_?”

“Just admit it, your feelings towards Prince Beel’s contractor are more than platonic.” Vabam says.

“Yeah, general, don’t resist your natural urges.” Xoblah pipes up.

“I like tits!” Furuichi cries out, but everyone ignores him.

“Maybe he’s not gay?” Some random Pillar Squad demon suggests. “Maybe he’s, like, Ogasexual—“

“Naw, I bet he just likes boobs in general,” another replies.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

Every single Squad member quiets down. Furuichi gives them the evilest eye he can.

“FINE, WHATEVER. I LIKE BOOBS AND DICKS. THAT’S IT. END OF DISCUSSION.”

“Hey, what’s this about dicks and boobs?”

Furuichi could probably hear a pin drop all the way in the human world.

He turns around.

Sees Jabberwock and _goddamn Behemoth_ walking into the training grounds.

“Oh, right,” Ananta speaks up. “I was sent here to remind you braindead idiots that today was the annual evaluation date.”

To hell with the wound in his side. Furuichi falls back down on the floor and tries not to cry.


End file.
